When Winter Feels Heavy: You're Not Failing, You're Struggling
You've noticed it again.
The alarm goes off, and instead of getting up, you lie there staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of exhaustion that no amount of sleep seems to fix. You tell yourself you'll feel better once you get moving, but your body feels like it's made of concrete.
Maybe you've started canceling plans. Not because you don't care about the people in your life, but because the thought of leaving your house—of putting on a smile and pretending you're okay—feels impossibly hard.
Or maybe you're scrolling through your phone at 2 PM, realizing you can't remember what you did all morning. The brain fog is real. Tasks you used to handle easily now require three times the energy, and you're starting to wonder: What's wrong with me?
Here's what I need you to hear: Nothing is wrong with you.
This Has a Name—And It's Not Weakness
What you're experiencing is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it's not about lacking motivation or being lazy. It's your brain and body responding to the loss of daylight in ways you can't simply "think" your way out of.
When the sun disappears earlier each day, your brain's chemistry shifts. Serotonin drops. Melatonin gets confused. Your internal clock starts sending mixed signals. And suddenly, everything feels harder because it literally is harder for your nervous system right now.
This isn't a character flaw. It's a physiological response—and it's affecting millions of people right alongside you.
The Painful Truth No One Talks About
Here's what seasonal depression actually feels like when you're living inside it:
You feel guilty all the time. Guilty for sleeping too much. Guilty for not wanting to see people. Guilty for being "too much" or "not enough." Guilty for feeling this way when, logically, you know you have good things in your life.
You feel invisible. People around you are posting about cozy sweaters and pumpkin spice, and you're just trying to remember if you ate lunch. You smile and nod when someone says they love this time of year, but inside you're thinking, I feel like I'm disappearing.
You feel trapped. You know you should exercise, get outside, reach out to friends—but the gap between knowing what helps and actually doing it feels impossible to cross. So you stay stuck, and then you beat yourself up for staying stuck.
You feel alone. Even when you're surrounded by people, there's this glass wall between you and everyone else. They seem fine. You're not. And you can't explain why without sounding dramatic or broken.
What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
When seasonal depression hits, your body starts speaking a language you might not recognize:
The exhaustion that doesn't go away no matter how much you sleep? That's your brain saying, "I need more light to function."
The carb cravings and comfort food binges? Your body is desperately trying to boost serotonin however it can.
The heavy, sluggish feeling in your limbs? That's melatonin flooding your system at the wrong times.
The mental fog and forgetfulness? Your brain is conserving energy because it thinks you're in survival mode.
Your body isn't failing you. It's trying to cope with an environmental change it wasn't designed for.
The Cycle That Keeps You Stuck
Maybe this sounds familiar:
You feel low, so you isolate. You cancel plans because you "don't feel up to it." You stop doing the things that usually help you feel connected—hobbies, movement, time with friends. And then the isolation makes the depression worse. Which makes you isolate more.
You start thinking things like:
I'm being a burden
No one wants to hear about this again
I should be able to handle this on my own
Everyone else seems fine—why can't I just snap out of it?
And underneath all of that? Shame. Deep, quiet shame that you're struggling when "it's just winter."
But here's the truth: You can't shame yourself into feeling better. You can only meet yourself with compassion and support.
What Actually Helps (And What Doesn't)
What doesn't help:
Telling yourself to "think positive"
Forcing yourself to push through without support
Comparing yourself to others who "seem fine"
Waiting for spring and hoping it gets better on its own
Judging yourself for struggling
What does help:
Recognizing this is real, not imagined
Getting morning light exposure (even on cloudy days)
Moving your body in gentle, sustainable ways
Staying connected even when it's hard—even a 5-minute phone call counts
Creating structure when everything feels chaotic
Talking to someone who understands
Considering light therapy or other professional support
And most importantly: Giving yourself permission to struggle without making it mean something is wrong with you.
You Don't Have to White-Knuckle Your Way Through Winter
I see clients every year who come in feeling broken, only to realize they're dealing with something physiological that responds to the right support. Therapy isn't about fixing what's wrong with you—it's about understanding what's happening in you and building a sustainable plan to get through it.
In our work together, we:
Validate what you're experiencing without judgment
Identify your specific triggers and patterns
Create practical, doable strategies (not impossible to-do lists)
Work through the shame and guilt that keeps you stuck
Build skills to interrupt the isolation cycle
Help you feel like yourself again—not someday, but this season
Here's What I Want You to Remember
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself, please know:
Your struggle is valid. It doesn't matter if someone else "has it worse" or if you "should" be grateful. Your pain is real.
You're not weak for needing help. You're human. And humans aren't meant to navigate seasonal depression alone.
This doesn't have to be another lost winter. With the right support, you can feel connected, capable, and like yourself again—even when it's dark outside.
You deserve more than just surviving until spring. You deserve to feel held, understood, and supported right now.
Let's Talk
If you're tired of pretending you're fine, if you're exhausted from fighting this alone, if you're ready to stop surviving and start healing—I'm here.
At Anna Thames Counseling PLLC, we specialize in helping people navigate seasonal depression with compassion, practical tools, and real understanding.
You don't have to have it all figured out before you reach out. You just have to be willing to let someone walk beside you.
You're not failing. You're struggling. And that's exactly what therapy is for.
